Abbie Chatfield is a woman who needs no introduction - her bold emergence from The Bachelor has us all questioning who the REAL winner of Matt Agnew’s season is since heartbreak certainly hasn’t held this lady back. In fact, Abbie has arguably challenged the way many of us perceive love, dating and the power of women through her unapologetic attitude that subverts archaic structures of femininity. Calling out anyone who wants to shame women for owning their sexuality, this is a girl who’s not going to let anyone kill her vibe or mess with her sense of self. We chatted with Abbie to find out how she has overcome heartbreak and haters to become her most confident self yet.
Since her time on The Bachelor, Abbie has found herself in the thick of public criticism and controversy. While this is certainly no path for the fainthearted, Abbie says she’s been through a lot of difficult times in her life that have built up her resilience. Despite this, she admits nothing could have prepared her for the experience during the show and after it aired.
“It’s unlike anything you can imagine. I think it has made me mature at an insane rate,” she says before adding “I’m definitely grateful for it overall!”
(Abbie wears our Charlotte slip dress)
At the ripe age of 24, Abbie has had enough controversy surrounding her to last a lifetime. While she has managed to take it all in her stride it hasn’t been easy - we don’t know how many people who can say they’ve escaped a reality tv show unscathed.
“The thing I remembered was that The Bachelor wasn’t my real life,” says Abbie. “But if it weren’t for all of the negativity during the filming and once it aired, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
While it has been a rough ride at times since being on the show, Abbie says she wouldn’t change a thing and is grateful that she’s able to use her newfound platform to speak on issues she’s passionate about. Her 128k (and counting) Instagram followers have heard her speak candidly about her political standpoint, her views on climate change, and her own experience with abortion.
Abbie is simultaneously vulnerable while maintaining steadfast durability in her strongwilled nature. Her recently acquired tattoo reads FEMINIST, which she jokes as being the “best dickhead repellent.” This kind of girl power is something she takes very seriously and isn’t afraid to speak up about.
( Abbie wears our Lola Set )
“I remember when I was about 14 having an argument with a nun at my Catholic school about slut-shaming and advocating for sex workers,” she recalls, saying this was before she’d ever heard the term ‘slut-shaming’ but was already well aware of its implications for young women.
“I think we have come leaps and bounds from when I was a teenager 10 years ago, but in order to maintain this trajectory of progress it’s important for us as a whole to be vocal about the
positives in owning our sexuality and to call people out who are either consciously or subconsciously slut-shaming others or even themselves.”
Being this self-assured doesn’t just happen overnight, and Abbie is no exception. She says doing yoga and working out gets her feeling confident and sexy in seconds, but that’s not her only self-love secret.
“A very obvious answer here is that I have sex! This seems really basic, but I think a lot of women associate sex with shame and taboo. I use it to fuel my confidence - it’s about owning your sexuality, not shying away from it.”
( Abbie wears our Lola Set )
When asked how she came to be so confident, Abbie laughs, saying “God, I don’t even really know!” Being exposed to the opinions of the nation hasn’t been easy, but she’s come out the other side a hell of a lot stronger and wiser.
“I think the trick is to stop caring what others think as much as you can. If someone doesn’t like you for being your authentic self - as long as you’re not hurting others - then they aren’t your kind of person,” she explains.
Admitting that this might be easier said than done, Abbie says it takes a lot of practice to tune out the negativity. Her advice - surround yourself with friends who will lift you up and soon enough it will become second nature to show yourself the same love that they show you.
( Abbie wears our Lola Set )
“Everyone has insecurities - I have hundreds - but if you focus on your strengths you will lead a much happier life,” Abbie says.
Wise beyond her years, Abbie is the older sister we all wish we could go to for advice. That’s why we are counting down the days until her podcast ‘It’s A Lot with Abbie Chatfield’ launches so we can hear more on what she has to say about life, love, lessons and all while having a lot of laughs. In the meantime, we will be channeling Chatfield vibes all the way. X